I Love Money Episode 2

OK, WTF was up with Rodeo’s no-nonsense French braid at the beginning of this episode? I swear she looked like Richard Simmons in one shot. I will say that she was an obvious choice for the next team captain, though. If her maternal ways didn’t put her over the top, that braid sure as hell did it for her. (Too bad she almost got choked out during the competition. I wish it would’ve damaged her ability to laugh…gawd that is annoying, huh? Not as annoying as her product placement in ep 1 (Rodeo hot sauce, y’all?)…but annoying nonetheless.

I really like Rodeo. Not sure why I went off on that tangent…If I were one of those people who said “But I digress” I would do so here.

I thought that the highlight of the show was Rodeo getting her head caught in the ropes! My opinion of Chance skyrocketed when he chose not to beat her senseless while she was trapped like a wild boar. He has more restraint than I would have. Do VH1 and CBS share a stylist? Because there was a French braid epidemic on the eviction episode of Big Brother last night as well. The French braid reminds me of high school because that was the official hairdo of our drill team (mine, too!!!). Which I was not on (I was…). But I wished I was (you can borrow my pom-poms). Anyway, I don’t know if I would say that I like Rodeo, but she is amusing to me. And anyone that has the patience to try to mediate a situation with Midget Mac is golden in my book. Rodeo’s got some sort of Hee-haw innocence about her or something.

Anyway…I’m sure the goof people on IMDB are going crazy, because when Destiney nominated Real as the next play to hop in bed with the enemy, you heard her voice, but she was clearly drinking from her water bottle. Miss that? I am obviously very observant (and somewhat pathetic).

I missed this! (Probably has something to do with this whole baby thing I’ve got going on here?) I am surprised too because I usually spot continuity errors right away. Like when the guy with the mullet on the Bachelorette got his party in the back trimmed off and then ABC tried to splice in a scene where he still had his mullet. Now who’s pathetic?

OK…is it just me or does Nibblz have the most annoying (yet strangely hilarious) lisp ever? Like when she lost her part of the challenge and said, “Thith sukth on tho many levelth” my diet coke almost spewed all over the place. Funny as hell.

I should probably use this time to say that I had a lisp as a kid. In fact, in third grade, I went to a spethal clath with 4 other kids in my grade. For 45 minutes a week we learned how to pronounce “our etheth.” The speech therapist watched us eat to make sure our tongues were doing the right thing (my husband still thanks her…) and conducted some pretty intensive sessions with us at which we had to repeat the same words over and over…and over. I tell you this because my lisp was cured after that year. That would lead me to think a grown woman could probably overcome her speech impediment in a 6-week course or something, right? Rosetta Stone….are you lithening?

I am drawn to Nibblz lisp like a car crath, I just cant turn away! It is pretty sad when Toastee can make fun of you. She said something about getting even with Nibblz faster than she could say “Mithithippi”. Good one, Toastee, but I fear your dath are numbered.

ANYWAY…back to Loving Money…

I’m sure Pearl has some choice comments from the whole “twisted ankle” and bulimia things, but I will say I thought the whole “Power Outing” idea was a little stupid. Except for the fact that they got to drink margaritas. That was a plus.

Ugh! I totally snoozed through the PO. Booooring! But, Toastee was a surprisingly convincing actor… must be all that practice she had in her porn career.

OK, one more observation. We have yet to see Heather without a bandana. Even at the veto/execution/elimination ceremony (I can’t keep the names straight from show to show), when female contestants typically don their finest Electrique Boutique attire, she was wearing one. I guess her tattoo isn’t all she took away from Rock of Love.

Well, I found myself wondering how everyone knew to pack their yellow and green attire? Did Nibblz just happen to pack that grass green mini-dress she wore to elimination? Ooh, I better bring thith, it ith going to look fierth! And Heather sporting her yellow bandana, as Ro pointed out. Are they told beforehand what the team colors will be and instructed to bring outfits in each hue just in case? Or does VH1 provide a little wardrobe assistance? If it is the latter, I hope one of the wardrobe assistants talks Pumpkin into wearing a bra. Did you see those puppies in that red sateen party tank at the elimination? I know she said she would use the $250K for a boob job (and may I suggest a little botox and microdermabrasion?) but that doesn’t mean she should go free ballin it in the mean time.

Things I am looking forward to in next week’s episode: the lover’s quarrel between Heather and 12-pack and the love triangle forming between Heat, Density… ooops I mean Destiny, and Entertainer. What can I say, I’m a sucker for romance.

I Love Money Episode 1

I am not ashamed to admit that I have watched every season of Flavor of Love (Charm School included), I Love New York, and Rock of Love, and I thoroughly enjoyed every ghastly reality tv moment. So you can imagine my glee when I found out about VH1’s new show, I Love Money, which is comprised of cast members from these reality gems.

The premise of the show is nothing groundbreaking: cast members compete in soul sucking games and get eliminated one by one each week while the last cast member standing wins a hefty cash prize. The stroke of genius in this show is that VH1 has gathered former reality love-show stars (I am taking poetic license with the term stars here) to make up the cast and has essentially exposed their true intent for being on any reality show in the first place; the intent being cash of course. My only complaint is that they didn’t swing a deal with MTV and invite some of the cast from A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila as well. There is still hope for season two….

So without further ado, a few observations from the show opener which aired last Sunday:

First of all, I am rather disappointed with Heather’s lack of camera time.



She is one of my favorite celbutantes if for no other reason than you can tell she fancies herself to be of equal star caliber to Angelina Jolie. You could totally see it in her swagger when she appeared in Rock of Love 2.

What happened to Mr. Boston? I don’t remember him being so disturbing on I Love New York. He kind of came across like the token whitie, playing his dorkiness to his advantage. Maybe I have fallen prey to the power of suggestion of Brandi (which I am sure happens all the time), but Mr. Boston has gone from geeky to creepy.

I am sooooo glad that Midget Mac got cut first. He is an annoying asshole. And his izzle-fied homage to Snoop Dogg got old about one series ago. Someone must like him since he did make the cast in the first place, so what do you say we all get together and nominate him for the next Bachelor?

Whenever I watch a show like this, I subconsciously make a list of losers amongst the cast (not to imply that the rest of the cast are winners or anything). I don’t know what criteria my brain is ticking through to come up with this list, but here are the losers of I Love Money so far, according to Pearl: Entertainer, Heat, Midget Mac, Mr. Boston, Nibblz, and Toastee.

If you missed the first episode of I Love Money, fret not, the next I Love Money airs tonight on VH1 at 9pm.

~Pearl