Big Brother 10: Episode 1

Did y'all remember to DVR Big Brother 10?
If not...I completely understand. I think they spent their entire yearly promotional budget on the "first-ever winter Big Brother" (which was lackluster at best). This time, I only saw a couple of promos If it weren't for my trusty TV Guide, I would have missed it myself. Lucky for you...I didn't.

Julie Chen promises this is going to be an exciting season...namely becuase the twist this year is that none of the players knew each other prior to coming in the Big Brother house!!! Oh. My. God. Seriously?? That's the twist? Honey, that twist missed.

But anyway...back to the show. It's always hard to write about the initial episode of a reality show. Anyone whose watched them (and if you are reading this, I know you love bad shows...or you are related to me and/or Pearl are contractually obligated to be here), knows they always seem to start off slow because all the Guido's look alike and you can’t keep the twenty-something cheerleaders straight. Diversity is not reality TV's strong suit.

A few of the players did stand out...mainly because they were either named the new Head of Household (HOH), nominated for eviction (N) or the winner of a prize (PW)

Let's meet them, shall we?

Jerry (HOH): A retired Marine from Texas, Jerry is the oldest player in Big Brother history (and my early fave). He's just the cutest old guy ever, even if his ability to tell a real breast from a fake one is strongly lacking.

Renny (N): A loud New Orleans native who attended the prestigous Jingles International Hair Academy (no, I didn't make that up) and screetches like a banshee at night.

Jessie (N): A bodybuilder from California who lists his favorite activity as, "Communicating with people that contact him whose lives he has helped to change." Not. Even. Kidding. (If Jessie encouraged you to do those two extra reps...contact him through the CBS Web site.)

Memphis (PW): A mixologist from...no, not Tennessee...Los Angeles (duh!) who insists on being called a mixologist, rather than a bartender (pretentious, much?). Now before you get all up in my shit and comment that there is a difference...bartenders create drinks, too. Anyone remember a little movie called Cocktail?

So there you have it. Don't forget...if you want to keep up with Big Brother 10, set your DVR to record the new episodes. Or catch it when it airs on Tuesdays (9pm e/p), Wednesdays (8pm e/p) and Sundays (9pm e/p).

Personally, I am a Big Brother virgin (eeew, that’s a little creepy sounding, especially since I do have a big brother, anyway…). I watched part of a past season because Ro said she enjoyed Big Brother and I totally respect Ro’s reality television sensibilities. After all, DVRgasm was spawned over our shared love for The Search for the Next Pussycat Doll, so if Ro likes something I am pretty much guaranteed to like it too.

So I tried to watch Big Brother 8, but I started watching in the middle of the season and I didn’t realize it aired more than once per week and I ended up missing some crucial shows and I didn’t really understand all of the rules (HOH? Red Unitard?) then I got totally lost and stopped watching.

Now here I am on the Big Brother bandwagon, 10 seasons in. Better late than never. Okay, I know my Big Brother viewing history is riveting, but let me move on to the current season…

Jerry is my immediate favorite and I would have voted him HOH, too. Great-grandpa? Check. From Texas? Check. Not one to turn down a free booby groping? Check. I was surprised, however, that when he met in the HOH room with whatsisname (yeah, I don’t have them all straight yet either) that he said he had been strategizing for a long time and then proceeded to nominate the two people whatsisname suggested for eviction. Did Jerry get played?

Renny got on my nerves about 3 seconds into her intro.

April also stood out to me because she literally stood out. Which one of you works at Hooters again?

I have one thing to say to Memphis the Mixologist: Hi, my name is Pearl and I am a Freelance Parental Engineer.

Libra also caught my eye because she left her 5 month old twins to be on this show. Personally, I couldn’t imagine leaving my baby for a lengthy and indefinite amount of time but I am not going to get on that high horse. I am sure we will all hear fifty bajillion times that she is doing this for her children. Note to Libra: just because you are on the show doesn’t mean you are going to win.

Last but not least, Steven: Champion bull rider in the gay rodeo circuit. ‘Nuff said.